Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Saturday, September 11, 2010

History of Insults

Since I don't take them to heart, but instead have fun pointing out the history, finding this site -- that shares the history of insults was a fun experience.

What I find interesting is that most of the earlier insults were directed to intelligence instead of being insults directed at a person's character or looks.

A personal favorite:
I was delighted to see that nincompoop is the fertile mother of children, such as nincom (1800, simply a shortened form) and nincompoopery (1900). The latter is used to describe foolishness or stupidity. Sinclair Lewis says, for example, in Arrowsmith: "Were they, in their present condition of nincompoopery, worth any sort of attention?" I was delighted to see that nincompoopiana developed around 1880, though it was used as a name for a late 19th century aesthetic movement. The London Times explained this in 1970: "'Nincompoopiana' began in the 1880s and was triggered off by the aesthetic movement which rebelled against the pretty and the respectable, and by the 'new woman.'" Very very nice, isn't it? Finally, there is nincompoopish (1852) which means "characteristic of or resembling a nincompoop." And, why was it invented in 1852, in America no less? Possibly because this was the height of the "Know-Nothing" movement in American politics. From 1852: "It is perhaps the deepest misfortune which should befall mankind now, that for the ensuing Presidential term the rule of the United States should be in the hands of the nincompoopish or the imbecile."

I am emboldened by all of this to try to make up my own words. How about a nincompooper? You could imagine several things that such a person would do. Or nincompoopdom, as the place where they tend to congregate? The possibilities, though not endless, are multifarious.

Dumb as a Door Knob

A recent hate e-mail stated I was "as dumb as a door knob" which made me wonder, how did door knobs end up with such a bad rap...

It's actually an English insult that originally was "dumb as a doornail" -- a doornail was the nail/plate behind a door knocker. When one knocked on the door, this doornail was abused. Since few people have these door knockers now days, the saying at some point became "door knob" instead of "door nail." So there we have a quick educational moment thanks to a yahoo who doesn't like my research abilities.

:-)

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Personalize your balls...

In the category of products I did not know existed would come the ability to buy personalized soccer balls -- Yes the title was a bit deceiving but for those of you who went in other directions? Tsk...tsk...

As a parent of five, one advantage I could see for personalization of sports items would be you'd have less arguing over who it belonged to. I can't count the number of times one of my would lose something then claim an item belonging to a sibling was theirs...

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Women wearing men's ties...

Tuesday I had the chance go to to lunch with a co-worker, we were lucky enough to be able to try out a new restaurant in town that was not officially open for business. Yes, we were taste testers. The food and the atmosphere was really nice and we had a fun discussion on what the wait staff had to wear, black shirts and mens ties. She thought that women looked silly when they had to wear ties, I remember a fashion stage when it was popular for women to wear ties so for me, it wasn't that much of an issue. Though I could see where it'd be easy for a tie to get in the way of serving food. Waiter...there's a tie in my soup...

:-)

Monday, April 26, 2010

OMG I missed Boobquake..

How I missed participating in this one, bad on me. I could have helped topple the world as we know it...

Boobquake has begun

What's funny is NPR had a story titled, "An Internet Coup D'Ta-tas" which now comes up no story found. Thanks to the wonders of Google? Proof it once existed is out there...



This could make one ask, "no balls NPR?"

:-)

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The evils of the majority...

Mark Fiore can make you think and laugh...

Friday, February 19, 2010

Our haunted doorbell...

When we moved in here several years ago, the house did not have a working doorbell, it was something I was used to having, so we bought a doorbell that attached to the front door jamb but plugged into an electrical outlet. It seemed simple but what followed was strange. The doorbell would ring when there was no one there. The dogs would bark and carry on, rush to the front door and nothing. It happened at all times of the day and night, with no discernible cause or pattern. We tried different outlets, same result, without warning the doorbell would ring and no one would be there.

This began the girls believing the house was haunted. I told them that if it wasn't plugged in then rang, they should begin to worry...That thankfully never happened, at least not yet.

:-)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Late night television moments...

As I was up late doing research last night, I then had a hard time getting to sleep because my mind did not want to turn off. So, I turned on the television...Which turned out to not be a smart thing to do. There was this infomercial on the benefits of colon cleansing which got pretty detailed. I'm not sure about you, but for me? Picturing the years of supposed stuff hanging around in my colon was not what I needed to lull me to sleep, it did the opposite. I then tried to find something else, it was between some jean that was supposed to slim you and some natural formula to stop joint pain...Suddenly the tutorial about my colon health didn't seem all so bad...

:-)

Saturday, January 09, 2010

A hair product for every day...

Earlier today I set upon a mission I try to avoid as long as possible. Cleaning out the bathtub; which always has to involve removing all of the empty bottles of hair products that are left there to rot. Evidently the distance required to carry an empty bottle of hair supplements from the tub to the garbage can is an insurmountable task for those who reside in my house. They are also apparently unable to tell someone when a product is running low. This can create the male members of the house being forced to use flowery feminine hair products and the female members of the house to be forced to smell like, oceans or spices or "fresh scent" whatever "fresh scent" is supposed to be.

Those of you who have followed my tale of trials and tribulations related to the inability of members of this house to put a roll of toilet paper on the roll, will not be shocked by the empty hair product, body soap, razor blades beyond use and empty bubble bath saga. Though the amount of hair and body washing products that two males and two females can go through in the course of a week, makes me wonder how much they use that they don't really need. Which is why I always try to buy products that come with a pump, that doesn't always work though.

Yesterday is a perfect example, one daughter decided to take a bath, after the tub got done filling up, as she got ready to go in, she saw a spider fall into the bath water. Rather than scoop out the skinning dippying arachnoid, she felt it necessary to drain the complete tub, wash it out then fill it up again with bubble bath...

The itsy bitsy spider went down the water spout...

:-)

Apparently she did not inherit my luck...

I am not a lucky person when it comes to contests and drawings, my biggest "win" goes all the way back to when I was five years old and I won a coloring contest in the local newspaper where the prize was a Koolaid tent...My middle child appears to not have inherited my lack of a winning streak. Recently she won a 52 inch television set from a drawing held at her job, which not only created discussion which plasma mounts she should use for the brick wall they wanted to place it on, but some moments of envy. Though I did suggest to her that a 52 inch television set would be a heck of a gift...She didn't buy that.

:-)

Friday, November 13, 2009

Jon Stewart busts Fox in a mistake...

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Sean Hannity Uses Glenn Beck's Protest Footage
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealth Care Crisis



Too good to not share, what is even funnier is while it's said the mistake was "inadvertent" if you listen to the actual discussion? It doesn't sound that way.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Perhaps he's trying for the pond look...

I happened to notice that the small swimming pool we have in our back yard that some of those in my house use to cool off with on hot days was starting to look a bit greenish...Which this is the first time this year it's happened because until recently the proper chemicals had been added to the pool on a regular basis to try to avoid the pond look. This led me to wonder if it was a lack of attention or perhaps instead of pool supplies it might be time to start looking at pond supplies...

After then noticing a back area of the yard that appears it hasn't seen the lawnmower in a while, I decided it was a lack of attention. I made the silly mistake of asking if we still had a weed whacker, and when that response was "yes" when I asked why then was that one part of the yard higher than the rest, the answer was "I don't know" -- I've decided I am just not going to pay attention either...or buy fish for the "pond."

:-)

What does your car say about you?

Can the type of car or the type of car accessories say anything about what type of a person you are? Sometimes I wonder...I've seen people with cars that were really expensive have no accessories and I've seen cars that were really not that expensive at all decked out with the latest in spinners and ground effects and other decorative items. Our car we have right now has one decoration I wish my husband would get rid of that came with the car, it's one of those fake decorator license plates in the back window with a hand with it's middle finger extended...However he won't remove it...

Sunday, July 12, 2009

I love this license plate....

Kate and I were in the car the other day and I spotted this at the light. Thankfully I had my trusty camera with me...

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Blogging from your backyard

I love my tower and I don't plan to get rid of it any time soon, but I have to admit I do like the ability of going outside using my laptop and our wireless connection. While my outdoor furniture is not totally conducive to a comfortable typing scenario for hours on end, right now I am sitting on my back deck, enjoying a cool breeze, yelling at the dog to stop eating grass...

Okay so it'd be more perfect if the dog wasn't eating grass, but I spend too much time inside and since I was behind on a variety of writing assignments this was one way to be able to be outside, and still be able to get some things done. As well as to take a break and post something here, since I have been behind here as well.

Now, if I had a waterproof laptop, I could blog while I was floating on a raft...

:-)

Friday, May 15, 2009

I think I'll leave this one up to Jon Stewart...

Did Pelosi know? Is Goss Lying? Is the CIA lying? WHO LIED?????

Who knows anymore...but there is this:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
Waffle House
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Economic CrisisPolitical Humor

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

With all the rain my basement on my mind...

We live in an older rental home, and when it rains a lot we thankfully don't get totally flooded but there is enough seepage that comes in that make it feel more cold and damp than it should be even after the rains finally stop. Which, to my way of thinking the rains could stop any time now. It does however mean that if the basement area is to remain "livable" for those who spend a great deal of time down there, it's time to start looking at dehumidifiers again. Two years ago we were lucky enough to have a friend give us one. It has passed into that great dehumidifier heaven, and while it was much appreciated and saved us money at the time, some of the newer ones out there are just a bit quieter and more energy efficient.

I could of course just let the basement dwellers re-take over other portions of the house, but I think I'd rather keep them there, where the sounds of that CombatArms game is muffled from the basement to the second floor of the house.

:-)

Friday, March 06, 2009

Things I should have done this week...

We have a car again, well...kind of...It's not running yet, but there is a 1994 Chrysler New Yorker that is just waiting for some mechanical TLC that will hopefully only be the starter that needs to be replaced, sitting at my house. When my one daughter asked me how it drove (she forgot it didn't run) I told her, well, we can say it tows well. :-) I needed to start checking parts prices which...well I didn't do.

The one thing I didn't miss about not having a car was car insurance, though the wonderful former insurance company we had seemed to feel it was necessary to report my husband for canceling our last policy. I don't know about you but traditionally when you can't replace the car that was completely totaled by meeting "Mr. Bear" and they know it was totaled since they paid off the loan, you don't need car insurance on that vehicle any more. This will create a need for free insurance quotes again because after the hassle we had to go through with the State, I'll never go with that insurance company again. The first notice we called the State who said we had to call the former insurance company, they claimed they notified the state that the violation notice was in error. The State then suspended my husband's driver's license for not having an insurance on a car that was scrapped...Thankfully it was resolved not that it really mattered at the time since he didn't have a car to drive anyway...At least with this car? Any Bears better look out, this time the car might win as opposed to Mr. Bear...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Its better to laugh...Stimulus Payment Information

I'm not a huge fan of e-mail forwards but this one is worth a read:

Stimulus Payment Information

"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format.


Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:


* If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .
* If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer it will go to India .
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
* If you buy a car it will go to Japan .
* If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .


And none of it will help the American economy.


We need to keep that money here in America.

NOTE: You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), funerals, weddings, or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the USA .

So! It might be time to get that tattoo!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Dan Aykroyd returns to SNL for Republican spoof...

One thing remains constant no matter what is happening, SNL always has someone to make fun of. This time? Republicans...