Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Its better to laugh...Stimulus Payment Information

I'm not a huge fan of e-mail forwards but this one is worth a read:

Stimulus Payment Information

"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format.

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .
* If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer it will go to India .
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
* If you buy a car it will go to Japan .
* If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America.

NOTE: You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), funerals, weddings, or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the USA .

So! It might be time to get that tattoo!


Scott G said...

Finally a reason for me to get another tattoo

Lisa Renee said...

Exactly! I'm already plotting out designs in my head.


The News Writer said...

No kidding. I've been wanting a second tat.

Jason said...

Thats great!

Lawrence Moore said...

Funny joke. It's hit my public email folder about 3 times already. :)

Two "reality check" points come to mind though.

1. Sure it's our money, but I'd rather spend it myself than trust the government to do it for me.

2. Buying everything on that list does indeed help foreign economies (and who do we blame for that?) but it also helps America because they still have to hire American workers to sell you all of that junk.

You can have the tat... I'm going for the big TV. ;)