As I was jaunting about on the blogosphere today, I came across this post written by Cassandra at "No more Government Cheese". It is a lengthy post but one well worth reading. While I do not want to see abortion become illegal, I also firmly believe the way to make abortion a non-issue is to prevent the majority of them in the first place. I recommend reading the whole post as linked above because she also addresses father's rights but this portion of her post is to me how I feel as well:
If we ever hope to be equal with men then we must, with our "equal rights", accept equal responsibilities. It is, truly, that simple. And if women ever, by and large, come to do so and quit the silly whining that occupies so much of the airwaves, they will very likely find that a great deal, though by no means all, of the 'discrimination' they experience will vanish into the ether like a bad dream. Life is never going to be a level playing field for women, but then it's not a level playing field for anyone. We all bring different talents, different strengths, and if we are honest, different aspirations to the table. The one inescapable fact of life however, is that there are always tradeoffs.
The sad thing about the abortion debate is that by simply exercising a tiny amount of responsibility before conception, grown women could easily avoid a situation where they inflict the results of their own negligence on their partners, while depriving them of the "reproductive choice" they so ardently defend for themselves.
There are probably always going to be abortions, even if abortion were to become illegal they would still happen. No birth control method is 100% effective. However making the true focus be responsibilty before would be a better end result for all of us.
Using the following numbers as an example since not all people agree with Guttmacher Institute's figures let's say about six million women become pregnant annually in the US, about three million of those pregnancies were not planned. A little over one million of those unplanned pregnancies will end in abortion. Nearly half (47%) of all unintended pregnancies in the United States occur among the small proportion (7%) of women at risk of unintended pregnancy who do not practice contraception. It is that approximately 7% of the 62 million women who are of child bearing age that we need to reach. They should be the focus. There are programs out there that help fund birth control for women who cannot afford it, publicly funded family planning services help women to prevent an estimated 1.3 million unplanned pregnancies and 630,000 abortions each year. You can see how it is possible that not only could some of the three million unplanned pregnancies be prevented with better access to birth control but some of those one million abortions could also be prevented.
That to me is so much more of a positive goal than spending millions and millions on both sides of the abortion debate.
24 comments:
I think a little education would be good also. Abstinence only would be great if it worked, but it is ignorant. We had people in high school who believed that you couldn't get pregnant if you had sex standing up, in water, or using the "pull out" method.
I agree on the discrimination aspect. Many women claim that getting rid of abortion violates their rights, but also think that the man who helped make it should not have any rights. I understand there are situations where it wouldn't be safe to tell the guy, but don't complain about having your rights violated if you want to do it to someone else.
"Women's responsibility" or, "How I Learned To Stop Worrying, and Stick a Fork in My Baby's Head."
Where does the baby's "equal rights" fit in? Our country's acceptance of abortion-on-demand only fuels the abortion machine. You aren't going to reduce abortions by saying "I don't like it, but it's okay for you to do it."
The baby doesn't have any equal rights now, neither does the father if you want to be perfectly frank authoritarian...so helping to prevent unwanted/unplanned pregnancies to me is a better solution than continuing to keep things the way they are right now.
Even if Roe V Wade were overturned abortion would still be legal. If you somehow made abortion illegal in every single state in the US? Abortion would still exist. So rather than wasting time and money why not go to main cause of pregnancy? Lack of education about preventing pregnancy and lack of birth control.
All this time both groups have been fighting one to make abortion illegal, the other to fight the groups trying to make abortion illegal all of that money spent? Could have made a real difference in preventing pregnancies that resulted in abortions...
Where are the babies "equal rights" after birth. Many people who will fight to protect an unborn child also think that welfare programs and providing equal opportunites are socialist. Why fight to make it so that even unwanted children are born and then let them live in bad conditions?
That's the next question me4, another reason why to help prevent babies that are not wanted in the first place.
Q: How many anti-abortion types step up and adopt unwanted children?
A: Not many.
They want to force women to carry unwanted pregnancies to term, but often they are the same people who do not want to pay for programs like ADC and WIC.
And, before anyone tries to smack me down, I get to stand on the pillar of sanctimony. My wife and I have been foster parents for over a decade, and have had over three dozen children in our home over that time.
(and to clear up another misconception, foster parenting pays almost nothing - we get $12-$14 a day per kid. You can't even get them 3 Happy Meals for that kind of money, let alone shoes, toothpaste, prom dresses and all that other happy nonsense)
So if you are going to preach to the world about the evils of abortion, y'all better be prepared to take in some extra kids.
Another good point Mike and very true not many of those who are against abortion are offering alternatives.
Both sides get so set into arguing that they don't seem to grasp the real solution should be one both sides should want. Keep abortion legal and safe but rare. The only way to do that is to decrease the numbers of women who get pregnant who don't want to be. The first responsibility for that though lies with women though...
While I do believe fetuses should have rights that are not currently granted by our government, I also agree that promoting responsibility will have a greater impact than promoting legislation. As a whole, abortion is a social matter needing social solutions. Legislation can make a difference, but people helping people will ALWAYS have a greater impact than legislation.
Besides, our nation faces far greater problems at the moment that NEED the attention of our legislatures. Our representatives should not be focusing so much of their attention on the divisive, partisan issues, that divide our nation when there are so many major problems Americans can AGREE on that have yet to be solved.
Our representative have been dividing the people with partisan issues to maintain their incumbency, despite their inability and/or unwillingness to fix the problems we can agree upon, which is inexcusable. For those of you who are interested in learning what you can do to change this despicable practice of dividing our nation for political gain, please check out VOID,an organization where conservatives, liberals and independents come together to demand that our representatives solve our problems instead of dividing and conquering us.
Lisa Renee,
One thing I do want to say, is that there is a big difference between "unintended" pregnancies and "unwanted" pregnancies. All my pregnancies were "unintended." My husband and I did not actively seek out getting pregnant, but none of them were unwanted or unwelcome.
Hi Stephanie! Nice to see you here.
I agree not all unplanned pregnancies are unwanted pregnancies, my point was in direct reference to those who were not only unplanned but not wanted. If you don't use birth control or it fails and you can and are able to handle the pregnancy then providing birth control/education for you isn't necessary. It's mainly the numbers of women who don't use birth control and end up having abortions that I was referring to. Not all of my five were planned but it was something we had discussed and was not a problem.
:-)
Q: How many anti-abortion types step up and adopt unwanted children?
A: Not many.
What a crock.
Try adopting sometime. The waiting list is shocking.
The waiting list is only long if you want an infant, especially if you want a white infant. There are over 500,000 children in the United States who have been removed from their homes due to neglect and abuse, and placed in the foster care system.
As to those who supposedly are finding it so hard to adopt?
Here Almost 120,000 kids right now, waiting for homes....
Ummm...
I have adopted children.
Three times, as a matter of fact, and I may adopt again.
Lisa correctly points out that there are hundreds of thousands of children looking for homes.
The problem is that many couples seeking to adopt prefer a "perfect" infant over a "problem" older child.
The reality is that love comes in many shapes and sizes, and if you limit yourself to a certain set of criteria (white, infant, blonde hair, blue eyes, or whatever limitations you place) you may indeed have to wait for a long time.
Then again, maybe people who are that picky shouldn't be adopting in the first place...
:-}
I think the link I posted above pretty well demonstrates the reality:
Over one-third of Americans have ever considered adopting (Harris Interactive, Inc., 2002; Princeton Survey Research Associates, 1997), but no more than 2 percent of Americans have actually adopted (Mosher & Bachrach, 1996). Somewhere between those percentages lies the number of people seeking to adopt-that is, those who have taken concrete steps to adopt a child.
If actions speak louder than words? The action seems to demonstrate not many adopt.
Lisa Renee,
I decided to expand my repretoire, not to mention put in a plug for VOID. I always enjoy your posts on Watchblog, so you seemed like a good "target," so to speak. :-)
"...estimated 1.3 million unplanned pregnancies and 630,000 abortions each year..."
I was referencing this statement. Depending on what qualifications you're using to come up with the 7% figure, I very well might qualify as an "at-risk" woman. I've had a total of four "unintended" pregnancies, none of which were unwanted.
The implication of the figures above is that "only" half of these "risky" "unwanted" pregnancies end in abortion. Whereas, the figure would probably be higher, because not in the case of all of these "unplanned" pregnancies would either adoption or abortion even be considered. So, in those instances where abortion and adoption are considered, abortion is more often chosen than the "half" this set of figures implies.
My point is that, when placed into the right context, the number of times abortion is chosen, is greater than your figures implied. Though, the number itself, i.e. 630,000 is a daunting enough figure in and of itself. Imagine if that many children were dying of illness/disease and nothing was being done to halt it. The public outrage would be enormous.
historymike,
"The problem is that many couples seeking to adopt prefer a "perfect" infant over a "problem" older child."
That isn't the only problem. Many foster parents have tried to adopt the children they've been caring for, only to find that the birth parents still have enough rights to prevent it from happening. I know of two now-grown friends who experienced that as foster kids. Their foster parents wanted to make the relationship official and legal, but their birth parents refused to give up their rights despite the fact that they could not have the back. Maybe things have changed, since both instances happened about ten to fifteen years, but both my friends' foster parents spent a LOT of money fighting and losing their legal battles and could not afford to do it with subsequent children they fostered.
As for myself, I have three children with moderate to severe developmental disabilities and am in no position to foster or adopt in regards to how much more stress my family can handle. Also, we utilize the very services your stereotyping implied we'd scorn, and thus are deemed "fiscally unfit" to rear children without homes, since we cannot independently support them.
Basically, your assuption that inability is the equivolent of lack of desire is a fallacy.
True, Stephanie, not all anti-abortion types fit my "stereotype."
However, the anti-abortion activists that I know (and respect) unfortunately do fit this description: socially and fiscally conservative, pro-life, and judgmental of others.
I applaud you for the burdens you bear. We, too, have cared for children all across the spectrum, including those with medical needs, MR/DD, and severe behavioral problems.
In my experience, though, you are in the minority of pro-life people I have met.
On the other note, one of the children we adopted had a birth parent who tied up the adoption for two years after losing custody.
The irony of this situation? The man was serving a 20-year sentence for child molestation, and had nothing better to do than to use his considerable legal knowledge to try and keep a child that no sane judge would ever let him near.
A lot of valid points have already posted, along with a few that are not so valid.
My thoughts:
Abortion is the absolute worst form of birth control.
If we're talking about rights, let's look at all interested parties:
The Mother
The Child
The Father
The Siblings
The Grandparents
And God (for those who believe)
Education used to be the main influence in abortion discussions, education by our family, our churchs, and our peers.
However, since the advent of birth control, that has shifted.
With birth control came sex without guilt, care, or concern. With birth control out went the traditional concerns that kept unplanned/unwanted births in check.
Family values and old time traditions, before marriage, with thoughtful, informed birth control methods after marriage and abortion as a last resort, for very few and specific reasons is still the best approach overall.
We have the knowledge and the technology to keep abortions to a minimum, what we don’t have is the uncommon sense to do so...
Abstinence always works.
Birth control almost always works and it’s almost always foolproof (depending on the fools involved).
Abortion always works too, but at sometimes a very high price, as the effects on the mother are often not immediately apparent.
Ultimately the choice is the woman’s; almost always, but not exclusively...
historymike,
I'm not an "anti-abortion activist" perse. I make my comments, and try to ensure my votes reflect that viewpoint, but I'm not an activist in any real regard. My political activism is tied up in my pursuit to fill the needs of my children and my continued participation at VOID. However, in my personal experience, many of those who profess strong pro-choice sentiments are more like me, than like the people you describe. That is, the people I actually know.
My church, for instance, takes a strong adoption stance. They actually have their own adoption agency type-thing (I'm not quite sure what you'd call it) that helps single, pregnant individuals find good homes for their children within the church, and at least some of the time facillitates continued contact between the child and the birth family. And, that last part, I personally feel is important. One of the resistances I've heard used, is not wanting to have a child "out there" and never knowing the child. How abortion could be better, I don't understand, but some people do prefer it.
In the end, adoption and foster care are always going to be tricky issues. On the one hand, children need homes. If you have the choice between a good family home and a good orphanage, a good home is always better. But, just any home won't do. Not all people are cut out to be parents, even if they want to be; and not all people who are cut out to be parents, are cut out to be parents of children with special needs, whether that be developmental, physical or emotional.
One way to increase the number of successful adoptions in this country is, again, to increase the amount of education that's available. Let people know this is a real, viable option. Let people know that healthy, life-time, familial bonds can be formed with children who are not yours by birth. Let people know that there are ways to stream-line the adoption process to increase accessibility to the system and that there will be continued support available after the adoption process (and if this isn't available in a particular area, create it). One of the biggest detriments to adoption is that some people feel it is a "last resort" to be used if and only if they cannot conceive their own child, because it is somehow less their child if they adopt.
hooda thunkit,
Just to play the devil's advocate:
Abstinence doesn't always work, or Jesus never would have been born.
Birth control doesn't always work, or I wouldn't have my second or third child, and it wasn't from me being irresponsible.
Abortion doesn't always work; there have been babies born whom the doctor/mother were trying to kill. The one story I remember hearing in particular, the mother actually kept the child and regretted ever considering abortion. Another story I've heard, however, the baby ended up in the dumpster anyway, but both mother and doctor were charged with murder. I don't know if the last one is accurate, but I met the woman in the first story.
Stephanie, both Mike and Ht live in the same town as I do. Just today in a celebration event from our local Children's Services department for 25 children being adopted it was announced the huge numbers of children who not only need foster care but adoption. Mike and his wife are my idols when it comes to this. They have opened their home and their hearts amazingly.
So have you Stephanie, we've discusssed this before in passing but being a parent is hard, being a step parent as you are can be just as difficult as being a foster parent. Mike was not dissing those like you who are doing all you can for not only your own children but your step children, his comments were directed at those who try to claim there are not enough children to adopt. You and I are alike in that aspect as we both are at a point not only financially but emotionally where we cannot go outside of our own families to help other children. You and I are doing the best we can. We both do more than most to help others. It's sad to say Stephanie but you realize as well as I do that we are in the minority. We have the least to give in reality yet we give the most.
Mike,
I take it from Lisa's post that I've been on the attack, which was not my intention and I apologize. I've been edgy lately as my respite funds ran dry shortly before I re-entered the workforce in true "displaced housewife" form, that is with a plop and a thud. (The two situations are unrelated, btw.) That is not meant as an excuse, simply as an explanation. If it happens again, which I cannot promise it won't, just call me on it (much like Lisa did) and I will stop. Once again, I apologize.
Lisa,
Perhaps it is simply who I choose to spend my time with, but I don't feel we're in the minority. Really, though, I can see your point. If we weren't in the minority the world wouldn't be what it is today.
Though my workplace is not an ideal environment, I do benefit from having an adoption agency right next to us (and the Army Recruiting office two floors below us), so I occasionally get to see the "successes" of adoption, in pictures if nothing else. It's great to see people bringing in their children for a visit, though admittedly it's rare. Adoption, even when difficult, is still on-going and is still a viable option, that I wholly agree more people should consider and choose.
BTW, I've decided to stick around. I hope you don't mind. ;-)
Stephanie, you are welcome here always. I enjoy our discussions and you as always bring a point of view to topics that is appreciated.
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